Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Jarg's LiveJournal:

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Monday, December 19th, 2005
1:17 pm	Canucks vs. Clogs Now that even my wife has begun updating her journal again, I feel I can no longer deprive my patient audience from my attention. So let's do a quick Canada vs. the Netherlands comparison, which should give you some idea of what life is like at the moment: Better in Canada: * The weather I kid you not. The Netherlands have two seasons: spring and autumn, to be distinguished from each other by the fact that in the latter, rain and dead leafs fall on your head, while during the former it's only rain. Canada also only has two seasons: summer and winter. I may change my mind come February, but for now I enjoy the fact that the weather here has the guts to be what it is, instead of something undidentifiable in between. Ironically, I have never lived this far to the south, but this year I'm looking at my first white Christmas in decades. * Politeness While there are downsides to the proverbial Anglosaxon politeness (you never really know what they're thinking), it definitely has its pros too. Most people will hold the door open for you if you're struggling with a baby, a stroller and 45 kilos of groceries, even if they're bald, pierced, tattooed and dressed in an 'I eat babies' T-shirt. The only exception occurs when Canadians are not aware that there's something to be polite about. For example, while most Canadians will go out of their way to show tolerance to other religions, they sometimes seem nonplusssed when confronted with someone who doesn't believe anything at all. I have heard several people here claim one cannot have morals without religion, which to me is both mindboggingly stupid and seriously insulting, yet I never head anyone argue against the point. * Shopping hours This one may not apply if you work in a shop, but I enjoy being able to buy anything at weird hours on a Sunday night. This may be the only area in which the Netherlands follow the Bible more strictly than Canadians. * Navigation Though not very interesting or pretty, a fairly systematic north south east west grid pattern makes for very easy navigation, even if you don't really know the city yet. This is helped tremendously by the fact that unlike the Dutch, the Canadians don't believe there's any need to change a street name just because it is about to enter another time zone. * Space/nature This one is obvious, I suppose. With trees everywhere and a lake and a ravine nearby, this neighbourhood looks a lot better than the old one. An unexpected consequence is that you need to look differently at the city. In the Netherlands, a free standing house indicates wealth. Here it doesn't. It's not a big deal, but I noticed a few times that my first impression of a neighbourhood was wrong, because I automatically applied the old criteria. One exception regarding the nature: raccoons. They deserve their own paragraph. Oh, and mosquitoes. But they're hibernating now. You know what, I think I'll end this entry right here, while it still sounds positive. I'll save the 'Better in Holland' points for another time. Though the fact that the Netherlands don't have any raccoons is too good to be remain unsaid. (22 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
1:28 pm	They say an image is worth a thousand words, so... (20 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
10:52 am	First Canadian update We're still alive, if vegetating in bureaucratic limbo for now. Fucking Canadian customs decided to do a security check on us before allowing our stuff to be loaded on the ship to Toronto. Doesn't sound unreasonable, you might say, but that's because you don't know these security checks take about three bloody weeks to complete. Ergo, we have an apartment in Toronto (just north of Queens in the east end of the Beaches, for those who know their way around), but we only have a few suitcases to put into it until the end of July or possibly the beginning of August. Other than that, things are okay, considering that I fell from the rocks at High Falls with Lucie in my arms and we're both still alive. We've been trekking from one family member to another, from Toronto to London to Mitchell to Leonard Lake to Bracebridge and back to London. I'm glad to hear all my English friends appear to have come through the attacks in one piece. I don't have much opportunity to follow the news here, but the Canadian papers and tv channels praise the British stoicism, so I guess the desired effect of the attacks must have been totally and completely missed. Thanks for all replies to my last few posts, including the ones that told me to sod off. I know you meant it affectionately :) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 16th, 2005
7:21 am	Oh Canada... Last entry before departure: big, fat chaos but most of the really huge problems have been solved. See you all on the other side! (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 7th, 2005
6:39 am	Night of the living dead Five o'clock this morning. My wife's heel rudely kicks me out of a pleasant dream. "Make a bottle!" she barks. "milk or apple juice?" I whisper, because five a.m. is a time when you want to get things over with as quickly as possible, rather than debate the subtleties of the imperative. The reason I am whispering is that the part of my brain that's awake has registered that Lucie is still asleep. Silence. My wife, you see, wears ear plugs that have been designed to intercept all incoming messages before they enter orbit and shoot them between the eyes. At this point, you may be wondering what we need a bottle for to begin with, given that the baby is still sleeping. This is a silly question, since it presupposes a kind of rational logic that you will soon come to find out has no place in this story. "MILK OR APPLE JUICE?" I whisper again, slightly louder. Silence. "MILK OR APPLE JUICE?!" I whisper again. This time, I find the exact volume required to reach my wife's ear drums without awakening our first born, who is still out like a light. "Well, what do you think!?" my wife growls with the helpfully communicative nature that is uniquely female. I am thinking that I ask questions because I need the answer; not because I want to torment my wife. I am thinking that my offspring has recently demonstrated a nightly desire of juice instead of the traditional milk. I am thinking that it's five past five and I'd like to get things over with as quickly as possible. So I refrain from saying anything at all and I get up and fetch a bottle of apple juice. The carton in the fridge is empty, so I need to find a new one, which is harder than it sounds at seven past five, I return to the bedroom and put it on the little table next to the bed. "Thank you", my wife says without looking at me or the bottle, focusing instead on the blood of our blood who is still demonstrating the origin of the expression "sleeping like a baby". "You're welcome", I hit back. My wife turns around and looks at the bottle. Her head whips back to face me. Not a word, not a syllable, not a sound passes the hedge of her teeth. Yet something eloquently suggests she is not pleased. Is it the rigid squareness of her shoulders? The subte frowning of her eyebrows? My open grave that is mirrored in her black pupils? We shall never know. "Yeah, that's why I..." I begin, but I give up and drag myself back to the kitchen because ten past five in the morning is a time when I like to get things over with as quickly as possible. Five fifteen a.m. We're all in bed and awake. Except for my daughter, who is still cheerfully snoring the dawn away. Two full bottles going bad on the little table. Another day has begun. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
8:18 am	Nee Until yesterday, I was in doubt about what to vote and whether to vote at all, but in the end I said ’no' to the European constitution. I think there are good reasons to vote for it and against it. The deciding factor for me was the infuriating fraud surrounding the Stability Pact a few years ago, which proves that in this stage European treaties aren't worth the paper they are written on when the big boys (France, Germany and to a lesser extent the UK) change their minds. One day, I hope there will be a unified Europe capable of achieving things, but the Europe we have today, I have trouble believing in. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 30th, 2005
8:12 am	Thank you, France Now it's not going to be on our heads alone. (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 27th, 2005
8:08 am	This may come as a surprise to those of you who know me... ... but I recorded a cd yesterday. (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
10:18 am	I've been a good boy and done a lot of work this morning, so I'm going to allow myself a minute or two for an update. * Canada: Still lots to do, and some of the things that need to be done turn out to be more complicated than I need them to be right now. Insurance problems with my car and our floor, for example, I could really do without, but I have to deal with them because there's too much money involved. Want to know what the Canadian Immigration office wants to know about you before they let you in? The short answer is: everything. The long answer includes love letters between joy_joy and me, pictures from our wedding, four testimonies from people who swear we are a real couple, a list of every trip abroad I made in the past ten years, a list of all jobs I had in the past ten years, the addresses of my half sisters in the Netherlands and more. Between the annoying things that need to be done, I've found a little time to look at things I actually want to do when we get there. I really want to get back into the martial arts again. The problem here is, as the French say, l'embarras du choix. I've narrowed the list down to Brazilian jiu jitsu, a Russian thing called Systema and the wonderfully useless yet extraordinarily fascinating naginatajutsu, which is the art of wielding a halberd. * Meanwhile, back at home: I'm enjoying my last weeks as a paid movie watcher as much as possible. Yesterday I saw The Machinist (very dark and very good), The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (neither as good as I hoped nor as bad as I feared) and the director's cut of the prequel to The exorcist (well, it beats going to the office). Another movie I saw not too long ago that some of you might be interested in (not sure if it has already been released in the UK), is Sin City. Excellent stuff, even if you're not really into comics. Oh, and I'm about to see Revenge of the Sith. * Finally, for those who love beautiful babies: (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
4:19 pm	Happy birthday, Lucie! (27 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 4th, 2005
9:45 pm	Still alive Unlike certain others we might mention. It's a bit late for detailed rants, so how about a few key words: - Schiavo: mind boggling rightwing hypocrisy. Surprised to see so few people arguing angainst the frontal assault on the separation of powers by Bush.com - Pope: things never got well again between him and the Netherlands after he was asked to change his point of view on abortion when he came to visit twenty or so years ago. Our one cardinal was still cringing when interviewed about it on the radio today. I suppose Popie Jopie, as he was nicknamed here, was a good man in his own way, but he also has quite a bit of blood on his hands. Canada: - Too much to do, still. I officially announced my departure at work a week ago, and now I see the preparations going on for my replacement. I am beginning to feel a little detached, although I'm still enjoying it. - Canadian immigration is easier than Dutch immigration in some ways (once they let you in, you're in; no such thing as reapplying every year for five years before you're finally permanently allowed to stay) and harder in others (you don't want to know what we have to do to prove we have a real relationship) Work in general: - Too bloody busy these months. I'm building up my freelance network to take with me to Canada, which basically means I'm doing two jobs at once. Add the household and a loveable but intense baby, and you have 19 hour working days. - Last week, I had to do the usual movie stories, plus an unusual four page WWII special (FYI, according to our poll, the Dutch people consider Schindler's List to be the best WWI movie ever. I bet you won't guess the runner up), plus an unusual newletter for cab drivers for the Ministry of Traffic and Water, plus an unusual photo assignment requiring a lot of phonecalls and emails to France and Italy. - If you're wondering what I now about cabs, the answer is: nothing. I didn't tell the Ministry, of course, but I did smile and say I wasn't offended when they very carefully suggested it might be best if the basic texts were written by experts in the field who know the facts, and if I just edited them into legible Dutch. - Legible Dutch is something I do know a lot about, while the Ministry does not. This did not stop them from making all sorts of bogus comments on my first version. They didn't want any 'passive texts', they said, giving a very incomplete and mysterious example of something that didn't involve passive texts at all. Some emotionally restrained emails later, I found out what they really meant is that they don't want any future tenses, which is (A) not the same thing at all and (B) bullshit anyway. But they're paying, so they get what they want. Few things are worse than people who can't write but have once glanced at a stylistic rulebook and now feel compelled to imnpose random dogmas. That'll be it for now. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
10:59 am	Colour me impressed My colleague Jeroen just messed up his computer so badly he got an error message saying the error messages are damaged. the first priority of the tech guy was to save a screenshot. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 7th, 2005
3:00 pm	For your edification and entertainment Buckley's cough syrop is officially the foulest concoction ever created, and that includes mustard gas. Google teaches me its main ingredient is the Zuid-Amerikaanse braakwortel, which appropriately translates as South American barf root. Google also teaches me its medical efficiency is highly debatable. Oh well. At least it tasted like it was really effective. (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005
10:04 am	The knot has been cut As of yesterday, it is almost 100% certain that we will, indeed, give Canada a try. In other news, mommy reports Lucie took her first two steps! (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 25th, 2005
9:02 am	Stolen from the Missus, who stole it from other people Ten things I have done that I don't think you have done: 1: had sex in a Roman monastery 2: talked to Samuel L. Jackson, Robert De Niro, Keanu Reeves, Michael Caine, Billy Crystal, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Hanks, Carmen Electra, Sharon Stone, Halle Berry, Ashley Judd, Ethan Hawke, the entire Wayans gang and several others I have forgotten 3: Walked seven kilometers in socks, over a road that was half covered in ice and half covered in mucky water because I was fed up with the whole skiing thing 4: Survived a case of gangrene in my nether regions (and fathered a baby afterwards, I might add) 5: Obtained a black belt in jiu jitsu 6: Emptied a bowl of pee over my friend Erik’s head because he had pissed me off (I was four and the pun is accidental) 7: Written about 3000 pages that have been read by up to a quarter of a million people 8: Accidentally swallowed some of my baby’s vomit playing ‘Is it a bird? Is it an airplane? No, it’s Superbaby!’ 9: Run from the Balron’s Tower through the Caves of Hell to the Terathan Palace and back to the Balron’s Tower on Felucca and lived to tell the tale (only psychoticdwarf and n1blueye will understand and appreciate this) 10: Held a ten minute speech in university about my rabbit, in French, just to prove to my teacher she had not fully grasped the consequences of her own words when she said the subject of our exposé didn’t matter, as long as it was properly structured. And, if any of these have in fact been done by other people too: 11: Received phone calls at home from Famke Janssen (the dealy thigh Bond Girl from GoldenEye) and Charlize Theron. I also asked Lucie, and here’s her list: 1: Pooped in joy_joy’s bath 2: Vomited in yarahu’s face and made him comfort me 3: Visited five countries and two continents before I was eight months old 4: Bit yarahu’s nose (and his face, fingers and leg) 5: More than tripled my weight in the past ten months and got compliments for it 6: Ate vanilla cream mixed with onions and enjoyed it 7: Worn tights with a hippotamus picture on my bum 8: Been to my first pub when I was three days old (can’t tell you what it was like, cause I slept through the experience) 9: Had my picture taken by Vietnamese tourists at the Grand’ Place in Brussels 10: Danced in my mommy’s tummy on her wedding (she had to take painkillers, but I thought it was a one time opportunity) (20 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 18th, 2005
2:44 pm	Wer reitet spät durch Nacht und Wind? Er ist der Vater mit seinem Kind Er hat das Mädchen wohl in dem Arm Er fast sie sicher, er hält sie warm This afternoon’s boring meeting was unexpectedly cancelled, so I’ll seize the moment to revive this ailing journal. Madrid was fun. Keanu Reeves was not. Not that he was terribly annoying or anything, but the man just isn’t capable of producing a good quote if somebody else didn’t write one for him. That’s the dillemma of movie interviews: everybody wants to read about the famous actors, but it’s usually the not nearly so famous directors who have something interesting to say. After the press conference, I got a city map at the Tourist information office across the street and walked to the biggest drawing on the map: the cathedral and the neighbouring royal palace. The cathedral was a bit of a disappointment, I thought, but for a strange reason. I thought it was too light inside. Maybe it’s because I’m an unbeliever raised in a protestant society, but if a cathedral isn’t all dark and gloomy, it doesn’t feel proper to me. The royal palace, on the other hand, easily entertained me until I had to head back to the airport. For the warmongers among you, it has a very nice armory with some amazing items. To the pacifists, I recommend the Real Pharmacia, which offers a big selection of medieval medicine and an alchemist’s lab. The palace itself was as wildly over the top baroque as one can expect from catholic royalty. I wouldn’t care to actually live there, I got tired just looking at it all, but to visit it was certainly enjoyable. Lucie still has trouble sleeping through the night, as the germanophones among you will have guessed, and in her wake (puns R us), so do we. She can stand unsupported now, for a couple of seconds at least. Both joy_joy and I have been working more than before, she because she needs more in her life than just babysitting and me because we have to struggle to pay the bills. Another reason for me is that the Canada scenario is getting more realistic now. I’m trying to build up a freelance network I can exploit from overseas, so I will have an income of my own if we emigrate. My legal problems, which seemed to be a major obstacle to this plan, now appear to be surmountable. I managed to obtain a Declaration of Good Conduct from the Ministry of Justice in a way that may either be completely correct of a cunning exploitation of holes in the Dutch bureaucracy. I’m not sure which and I’m not asking questions, now that I have the document. We also consulted a Canadian immigration lawyer about our situation, and he reckoned I’m not enough of a criminal to be rejected anyway. This all makes emigration feasible enough to consider it for real. We haven’t made up our minds yet, but I find myself leaning more and more towards leaving. If all goes well, we’ll go to Canada sometime this year to look at it from an emi/immigration point of view and see if this is what we want. Back to my review of ‘Hotel Rwanda’ now. (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 10th, 2005
9:41 am	Quick geeky question for those of you who have read 'The Wheel of Time' It is said more than once that the Stone of Tear has not fallen since the Breaking. It is said more than once that Arthur Hawkwing conquered the whole world, or at least the whole continent. It is said at least once he subjugated Tear. So what did he do about the Stone? (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 27th, 2005
10:04 am	Madrid Does anybody here know Madrid? I'll be going there for a press conference with Keanu Reeves on Wednesday, 9th of February, and there's a chance I'll have a few hours to look around a bit. (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 7th, 2005
3:38 pm	Well, that's one illusion out of the window Bit of background info for those who won't know what I'm talking about: me and joy_joy are, for various reasons, considering a move to Canada. One of the problems is that I don't think my professional skills, i.e. writing in Dutch, will get me anywhere in a country where Dutch isn't a language, so I fear it will mean the end of my career. So, about two weeks ago, I asked my boss if I could continue to do part of the work I do here on a freelance basis over the internet. The good stuff, i.e. the movies, mostly require you to be here, but there are some less thrilling parts of my job that I feel could be done just as easily over the internet, which would allow me to not become completely dependant. I also asked if I could come back within a certain period of time if things didn't wprk out after all. Today I got an answer and the answer is no to both requests. Again, there are various reasons that I understand but think could be overcome. Nevertheless, he wouldn't garantuee me anything other than the occasional extra story. I have to say I am surprisingly disappointed. It is not in me to be bitter, but for now I'm not in the best of moods. (24 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
8:48 am	Promises, promises... As promised to francake several weeks ago, a couple of new pictures of Lucie! They're not the most recent, but that really only means there's more to follow :) She now has two teeth, is able to sort of wriggle from A to B and can briefly pull herself up on her feet if she has a massive object to hold on to (like her daddy)! Oh, and she likes crackers. ( Hidden for those who don't like babies ) (21 Comments |Comment on this)